Behind Her Mind: A Suspense Mystery Thriller (Kate Summers Book 5) Read online

  Landers watched her with cold calculation. “Be careful. Overconfidence has been the downfall of many.”

  “You should learn to heed your own words.”

  She sauntered away and, reluctantly, let go.

  Kate found herself in front of Kyle, not remembering the last few meters from the tree line to the back of the ambulance, and felt her fear and urgency suddenly bubble up again. “What happened? Are you alright?”

  Kyle looked her over and a small smile appeared. “Hey, Kate. I’m okay, really. Hit the back of my head, but I got out in time.”

  Kate heard the words and felt the edge of a memory skirt her conscious mind. A heavy bat, the cold metal pressed to her palms, and the whistle as it cut the air. Kate again felt a tug of denial.

  “Kate? I am fine. Really.”

  Kate met Kyle’s eyes and fainted.

  7

  Kate sat on the bed, fully clothed and ramrod straight. She couldn’t let herself fall asleep. She’d woken under the ministrations of the paramedic team, who muttered words like hypoglycemic, and had settled for silence all the way here.

  It was one of the larger hotels in the city. She, Kyle, and by his own insistence, Jack, were all in this room for now. The fire department was going to do a structural check of Kyle’s house tomorrow, only after which, if it was cleared, would they be allowed to go in and see what was left, if anything.

  However, for once, the need for justice was secondary. Everything in her shook with effort. She had no doubt now. She was the killer. In her own way, she’d tried to tell them, but the result had been an hour of lost time. Now she sat on the bed, trying to hold herself together, to remain Kate. She glanced at the clock, as it ticked slowly past midnight. There had to be another way if speech would not work.

  She began to think of her stash of evidence at work and stopped herself short. If the killer inside her could stop her from speaking, then it had more awareness than she did. A mad laugh bubbled on her lips, and Kate slumped, fighting the urge to sob. Why had her hands been used to kill her parents? Her aunt and uncle? Ace? All of them? Why?

  Because it is fun.

  Kate rocked, as if lightning had struck her, her fingers frantically clawing at her arm. Eventually, the pain was all she could feel.

  She shook her head, and another voice spoke, this one a harmless voice from memory.

  “To ask you to be honest and courageous. From what I have learned, you truly seek justice. Don’t let the truth stop you from attaining.”

  Landers. He knew. She was certain he had always known; that’s why he had poked and prodded, annoyed and irritated, from the minute he arrived.

  Kate took a calming breath. She didn’t know why the other inside her was allowing him to live, or how he knew, but his words were true and fairer than she deserved. They pointed at the problem, at why she could cause so much destruction and not be aware of it. She feared her other half; she denied it, so her mind complied, blanking out sections of her life entirely. She had little doubt she could gain the same awareness the other had. The question was, was she too late? Could the other now thwart that plan? After all, they shared the same mind, the same body. Was there any action that was private if the other did not want it to be?

  Kate looked up and stood, moving to the bathroom, dragging her feet, fighting fear with every step.

  She stood before the mirror and slowly raised her eyes to meet her reflection. At first, it was just her face, a little paler than usual, her blonde hair still damp from the shower. Then something in her eyes shifted.

  “You came to play.”

  The voice had been hers, the lips moving were hers. She could feel her tongue curl to make the sounds, but she pushed it all into the reflection. She was Kate; the other was there, inside the glass, trapped.

  “Trapped?” The laugh was so unlike her own, devoid of warmth and humor.

  Kate shivered and steeled her courage. “This needs to end.”

  “Oh, it will. Are you certain you do not wish to remain ignorant? Just go back to pretending I am not here.”

  Kate shook her head and forced a cocky smile on her lips. “I’m done hiding. I stopped you from killing Kyle. I can—and will—stop you again.”

  The reflection snarled, then laughed again, the sound glacial. “I have been running this show since I stole control twenty years ago. You only get stage time if I say so. Look at you—you can’t even maintain eye contact for longer than a few seconds.”

  Kate felt the fissures begin to open and made one last push, looking back at the mirror as she completed her mission. “Maybe that’s how it was, but it stops now.”

  The reflection laughed, the eyes turning so predatory they would not have been out of place on a wild animal. “Get back in your box, Kate. You are the mask. I am the owner.”

  Pain lanced across Kate’s mind, and she gritted her teeth. The feeling was beyond description, as if she were falling apart and coming together, all at once. At times, the room was crystal clear, at others, it would vanish. Kate could feel she was losing. The terror that came with that thought didn’t destroy her for one single reason. She had succeeded.

  ****

  Katie stretched out in the bed. Beside her, Jack snuffled in his sleep and shifted closer.

  Are you watching? she asked the shaking, but pitifully weak presence in her mind. Last night had been interesting, but the silly girl didn’t realize that after not fighting for control for most of her life, Katie had far more strength than she.

  Her victory was made sweeter when Jack snuck into the room. She knew her mask did not care for him and was mortified by their activities. She chuckled, and he stirred beside her.

  “Good morning.”

  She opened her mouth and shut it again, getting out of the bed while fighting to stay in it.

  Stop!

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  Katie felt herself stumble back against her will and watched his face crumple in confusion. She had to stop this. They couldn’t know. They couldn’t even suspect.

  “Katie?”

  “I’m starving,” she said, her voice a seductive purr, as she chose to walk to the door, smoothing out the movements. He had named her. It helped.

  Jack grinned. “I’ll bet.”

  They exited into the lounge area of the suite, and Kyle looked up. He glanced over both and rose slowly.

  “Looks like you two weren’t half as tired as you claimed.”

  Jack smiled sheepishly. “Katie’s hungry. You want something too?”

  Kyle took his eyes from her slowly.

  See that? Your old beau is jealous.

  A tremor rocked through her, but she ignored it, enjoying the moment and bending into Jack’s side, so she could nuzzle his neck.

  “Jesus Kate.”

  The reaction was instantaneous. A snatch from within her mind. The mask wasn’t dormant anymore.

  Jack threw Kyle a dirty look, but let go and moved towards the phone. “So what do you want, Katie?”

  “You know what Kate likes?” Kyle said, speaking before she could and canceling out Jack’s call. “Kate loves crispy bacon with fried mushrooms and hash browns. You do still like all that, don’t you, Kate?”

  The pain was getting unbearable. She felt a knee hit the floor.

  “Katie!” Jack cried, but Kyle was louder, closer. “Kate!”

  She shook her head, the battle within searing. “My head hurts.”

  “Jack, go see if you can get her some medication.”

  No. Don’t go.

  The door closed behind Jack.

  “Come on, Kate, let me get you to the couch.”

  Shut up!

  “You know, Kate, I don’t remember you getting a headache this bad since we were ten. Do you remember that, Kate?”

  Kate felt the brightness of the room flood everything, and took a sudden breath, as if she had been drowning, trapped underwater. She felt the tears begin to fall, but couldn’t stop them. It hadn’t been wat
er. It had been fire, and she had been burning. But she wasn’t ash yet. Her victory may have been followed by one for her foe, but she was learning. She remembered moments from last night, though she wished she didn’t. She remembered more from the conversation that had just passed.

  You can’t win. She told the voice in her mind, gritting her teeth and digging her fingernails into the sofa as the caged beast snarled.

  Slowly she became aware of Kyle’s big hand, rubbing her back in slow circles. He was murmuring her name, over and over, telling her it would be okay. Just as he had twenty years ago when she had first lost control.

  Kate leaned her head into the crook between his shoulder and neck. She knew her control was too tenuous to push. She knew if she tried to get the words out, to get him to arrest her, she’d be thrown back in the fire.

  Instead, she let the tears fall and held onto her name like a lifeline. She was Kate Summers. She was a good person, who strove for justice, always. She didn’t know the best way to fight herself, but she knew she wouldn’t give up, even if the knowledge that she had to do it alone made her tears flow harder.

  Jack came back, but Kyle must have motioned him to be silent. Kate was grateful, not wanting to hear the name that made the other in her mind purr.

  Jack sat on her other side and began rubbing her back, knocking Kyle’s hand out of the way. She heard Kyle sigh, but he just took to patting her hair instead. Sitting there, between the two of them, Kate slowly clawed her way out of the choking fear and regained all her courage. Landers was right. She had achieved honesty, now all she had to do was maintain her courage until she won.

  8

  Kyle watched Kate as she and the other techs moved around the scene. The house had partially collapsed overnight, but the fire department had finally cleared it. Now they were digging for anything.

  He felt a stab of guilt as he saw Kate’s face, a mask of sheer determination to find any evidence that had survived. She was amazing. He did not think he would have fared so well in her shoes.

  Kyle leaned against the cab of his car and thought of everything he had pieced together. This morning he had gained all the confirmation he needed. Kate was his girl. Katie was the monster. Their names held some sort of link to their corresponding personalities. He also had proof now that Kate was gaining awareness of Katie’s actions. She had been trying to communicate. He thought again of the marks her fingers had begun making after he first said her name in the hotel room. Something about them was tickling his mind, taunting him to find the corresponding thought.

  He looked around again. He needed Landers. He spotted Olsen, taking a statement from Jack. Given Olsen’s inner circle knowledge about Kate, the man had been onto her at once. It hadn’t been hard to get Jack to offer her a partial alibi. They needed time. They needed evidence. Taking Kate in now would only make things worse.

  Olsen looked up as Kyle reached them. “You can go, Detective Carson.”

  Jack nodded and made a beeline to the edge of the scene closest to Kate. Kyle felt a thrill of fear and began to follow.

  “Not so fast, Green.”

  Kyle watched Jack begin to talk to Kate and sighed. If there was damage being done, it was likely already too late. He turned back to Olsen. “Where is Landers?”

  “Right here.”

  Kyle felt a vehement urge to curse the man for the next year. Could he not stand in the open like a normal person?

  “I have something.”

  Quickly and quietly, he told Landers what he had learned.

  Landers’s brow furrowed in concentration as he listened, and then his face split in a true smile. “She’s strong. That is good. You say she was sending a message. Can you show me how?”

  The little man crouched down on his haunches and gestured to the patch of ash before him.

  Kyle thought again of the scratches Kate had been leaving in her arm, her dermatographia causing them to swell and redden. She had managed to write the word “not” before she regained control.

  He picked up a stick and crouched beside Landers, ignoring Olsen’s muttering. Slowly, thinking hard to recall her exact motions, he began to scratch in the sand.

  Landers was smiling softly when he was done. “You are doing your friend proud.”

  Kyle felt another stab of guilt. His friend. His Kate. The only thing, the best thing he could do for her, was prove her a murderer and arrest her. Somehow, even with the evidence of dissociative identity disorder, he felt like he was ultimately betraying her. Still, he knew that was just sentiment talking.

  “We need to pass this on to Dr. Adams,” Kyle said, rising with Landers and looking at Olsen. “If we can all be on our guard, we may get to the end of this without more trouble.”

  Olsen sighed and gave a reluctant nod. “We’ll have to wait.”

  He followed his boss’s gaze and saw that Kate was now in deep conversation with Adams, holding out an evidence bag and gesturing to another.

  Kyle nodded. “Later then. When are you free, Mr. Landers? Mr. Landers?”

  The little man was looking at the scratches in the ash. “Did she write them like that? One letter stroke at a time?”

  Kyle began to nod, then gasped, the thought that had been dancing just out of reach finally becoming clear. One stroke at a time. He grinned at Landers, and the little man patted his elbow, head cocked to the side like a fatherly crow, pleased by his son’s achievement.

  ****

  Kate gripped her office table. She was exhausted. Her night had been restless and too short. This morning had begun with a battle for control followed by hours sifting through ash. She sat and shut her eyes a moment. Everything was ash, even the boxes she’d brought from her apartment in New York. The ones that had started her on this mission. Kyle’s guest bedroom sat above the living room, and the floor had collapsed before the fire was doused, meaning all her things were gone. All Adams had been able to find was her charm bracelet.

  Kate felt a tremor rock through her and forced it down. It had happened there, at the scene. She had lost control again. Jack had called her Katie, and she’d found a gold button. Somehow the two facts together gave the other inside her more strength.

  Kate shut her eyes, trying hard to recall the fuzzy images. The other had bagged the button and moved with purpose straight for Adams.

  “I think the killer left something behind,” she’d announced, earning a startled look.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “This. Kyle owns nothing like this—I am certain. And neither do I.”

  Adams had eyed the gold button, a strange look crossing her face, and then she nodded vaguely. “Well, we’ll have it checked, along with everything else.”

  At this, the other, using her eyes, had spotted the little bag containing a silver charm bracelet: the one she had lost. The reaction had made little sense, such fear. She’d almost been able to wrest back control right then.

  “That’s mine. There’s no need to waste time on it,” she’d said, holding out the button and gesturing for the other bag.

  Adams raised an eyebrow. “I imagine much of what we find is yours, Dr. Summers. Nevertheless, it must all be bagged, tagged, and checked. You can have it back when it is cleared.”

  The tension within had risen again, and Kyle had approached before it had faded, calling her name and giving her that inner push to take back the wheel.

  Kate rested her head on her arms. She was so tired, but before she could go home and sleep, she needed to think—to find the reason her lost bracelet was so important to the other. They needed enough evidence to lock her away for good. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to voice her confession, so she had to rely on the evidence.

  Her mind began to grow foggy, Kate made a grab for the surface, but missed, flames rising around her.

  Katie rose unsteadily, shaking the sleep away. The body was the same. Tired from staying awake for hours, for messing around for a few more, and from diligently scraping through ashes fo
r even more hours.

  The mind, too, was the same, near trembling from the battles for control.

  She took a deep breath and made quick work of her proof. She had to get Landers to take the fall for the fire. Perhaps she could even find a way to scapegoat him for the rest, but that didn’t really matter. She could make almost any excuse to leave here and go back to New York. As long as his credibility and reputation were destroyed, his accusation would carry no weight.

  She took the report, proving that the button was his, and made for Adams’s office. The woman looked ready to leave, her own hands holding a mirror image of Katie's. An evidence bag and corresponding report.

  “Dr. Adams. I have something here.”

  The woman looked startled to see her but then nodded vaguely. “Oh? Can it wait? I need to see Olsen. You know how the man hates to wait.”

  Katie frowned. The joke had been forced. The woman looked afraid. She was now close enough to see the evidence. The bracelet, and beneath it, another smaller bag from the Forbes case, with the missing charm.

  Katie took a quick sweep of the empty space and approached, making Adams back into her office again, an automatic response to someone getting into your personal space. A knee-jerk reaction that would cost the woman her life.

  “Tell me, Dr. Adams, how long have you known?”

  Adams took in the change of tone and the slowly shutting door with a look of dawning horror.

  Katie chuckled. “I have here Landers’s button. It can prove he was there at the scene. Shall we blame him for the fire?”

  Adams straightened her spine, deciding to go down fighting. “Green already said Landers was there. The man saved his life. Losing a button while dragging an unconscious form is not uncommon.”

  Katie nodded. “I see the problem. I hope you can see mine with that.”